Jack the Plaid

I experienced something of an epiphany a couple of years back regarding the Prince of Wales check and its cousin the Glen Urqhart. I have seen photographic evidence that my father sported a racy American glen check suit, acquired overseas, in his younger days (this was in the early 50s). But in my own misspent youth, I shunned the pattern, which was irrevocably associated in my mind with the appalling double breasted suits Next used to sell in the 1980s.

Then one day I saw the most splendid Glen Urqhart single-breasted suit. It was damned well-cut but it exuded roguishhness. It skated the very edge of vulgarity, savouring of Brighton races and Wilton's music hall - and I wanted it.

This usually occurs in the earlier years of maturity, when one tends more towards a gay plumage, and before the exigencies of life drive frippery from one’s soul. In such circumstances it is quite normal and nothing to worry about. But I was in my forties, for goodness' sake.

Obviously, I had no choice but to acquire it. And in doing so, I underwent what is sometimes called a Pauline conversion. I changed my view on checks.

Let us consider the issue, frankly and openly. Any sally into a style redolent of the billiard hall and the bookies' risks disaster, yet such daring sorties are essential rites of passage, enabling a gentleman to achieve sartorial authority in later years. Occultists notoriously emphasise that all paths to wisdom are fraught with peril and the Tao of the Gentleman is no exception.

Those undertaking the Great Work of the alchemists are counselled that they need four qualities - To Know; To Dare; ToWill; To Keep Silent. The purchase and subsequent display of any decent suit (but especially of a Plaid suit) are not enterprises to be undertaken lightly. These works require mental, physical, and spiritual preparation.

Let us revisit those four Qualities:

To Know; One must be brutally honest with oneself: a fat or a small man will need to acknowledge their physical condition and master it.
To Dare; One must cultivate a high level of damn-your-eyes insouciance: There can be no skulking about in such a garment.
To Will:One must be a dedicated, nay, ruthless enemy of frippery: a suit of such splendour cannot allow itself to be rivalled by other patterns, or by bright gewgaws.
To Keep Silent: One must allow the suit to speak its message without your interruption or commentary.

The suit itself needs careful choice. Double breasted or single breasted? Two or three piece? A plain plaid like Glen Urqhart, or Prince of Wales with its coloured windowpane overlay? Of course this is a matter of personal conscience and ultimately, between a gentleman, his tailor, and God. Double breasted suits in this fabric can make one resemble a war profiteer or gangster, particularly on the broader and more prosperous gentleman. I therefore favour the single breasted style. Two or three piece suits are equally acceptable - a three piece might have a rakish semi-Edwardian charm about it, and an expanse of waistcoat front in this fabric can be impressive.

On the matter of a Prince of Wales check, I confess that I tend toward the fundamentalist: I am a plain black and white man. I like a Glen Urqhart plaid or a simple black and white Prince of Wales check with a trace of pale blue. Now, I acknowledge that this is a check that can usefully be worn in a sage green or pale brown. But not, I suggest, as suiting. These are fabrics I would advocate more for casual jackets or golfing trousers, unless one is of a foreign persuasion.

There is also the matter of the size of the check. Too large, too bold, and one can find oneself resembling a down-at-heel music hall comedian. I do not dismiss this option out of hand, incidentally: my role is merely to counsel and to warn.

My personal view is that, as ever, the tall slim gentleman is at an advantage with this fabric. It can look most elegant on such a figure. The broad shouldered types of the security or pugilistic professions would probably do well to avoid it, unless they are tall, in which case they will look like colleagues of the Kray twins; of course, this is not necessarily a bad thing. But I would go farther: gentlemen who are positively rotund can, if they have sufficient warmth and breadth of character, carry off a suit in this fabric with great panache, in much the same way that a loud windowpane check can work very well with the fuller figure.

But on balance this is not a fabric that I can, in good conscience, recommend for the shorter man. It is hard. It is less than fair. But the truth is I am doing you a kindness.

You would look foolish, and that would never do.